I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
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