so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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