their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I showed him my bush... on skype.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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