I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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