So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Randomize
