He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
