How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
