I must be too annoying 4 u.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
