god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
