weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
You are a genius and a whore.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
