the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
