i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
They took my balls.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
