were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
