Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Randomize
