Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
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