Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
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