There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Randomize
