yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
