I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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