No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
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