Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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