I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
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Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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