Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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