Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
you inspire me to be a worse person
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
