My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
