like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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