You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
