I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
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I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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