Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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