Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
