No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
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