I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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