Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
