Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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