i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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