it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
