spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
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