There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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