it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
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