Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
