I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
