The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
