whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
two words: eviction party
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Randomize
