think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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