I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
