i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
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