yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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