butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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