Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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