We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
