I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Randomize
