Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
