I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
