she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
