you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
