i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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