Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
