I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
