She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I have demons in me.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
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