Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize
