Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
All the doctor said was why
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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