Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
