omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize