the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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