Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Randomize
